The Logic Of Hillary Clinton

Mitt Romney Vows to Eat Bug

As last ditch effort in an ever tightening Florida Primary, Mitt vowed to eat a bug if you will vote for him. Romney highlighted his years in the business community doing whatever is necessary to please the customer and promised to apply that same experience his campaign, up to and including eating a live insect. "Voters in this state want change, I am the man to give it them. And should the voters want me to eat this beetle, then I will do so with a smile on my face. Really. I totally will." Romney went on to criticize his rivals John McCain and Mike Huckabee for their unwillingness to commit to eating anything the people want them to, saying that it exposed their lack of commitment to this great nation and whatever juvenile stunts happen to amuse it. "For too long Washington has ignored the will of the American people. And I have noticed that will sometimes includes the desire to watch people eat bugs on television. I make a solemn vow, that if America will elect me there president, I will eat any bug that it asks of me. Yes, even that creepy looking green one over there." Political strategists were unsure if the bold move would be enough to deliver Florida into the Romney camp, though he was said to be close to receiving the endorsement of Johnny Knoxville. Romney refused to comment on what his post Florida strategy might be, but campaign revealed that are considering a Super Tuesday blockbuster that may involve their candidate licking a toilet seat.

Hillary Set to Become the 1st Woman to Lose the Presidency

After her victory in the Nevada Caucus, Hillary Clinton inched ever closer to her historic goal of becoming the first woman to ever lose the Presidential Election. "I can't believe it", said Hillary Supporter Elaine Chavez from Reno "It's so exciting, we've never had woman lose before. I can't wait until she actually gets to be defeated by John McCain!" Many Hillary supporters explained their support by noting the fact that past Democratic Presidential Losers had always been men, and they felt it was high time a women broke through the "Glass Ceiling of Failure." Clinton supporter Gloria Steinem cited the revolutionary candidate's potential "Surely Hillary can run a presidential campaign that can be every bit as feckless, calculated, uninspiring as John Kerry, Al Gore, or even Adlai Stevenson!" Ms. Steinem went on to explain that with Hillary's high negatives, a campaign dominated by soulless corporate lobbyists, and Ms. Clinton's unique ability to unite an otherwise fractured Republican party, there was an excellent chance she could become the Democrat Party's biggest loser since Walter Mondale. "Let's face facts" said political analyst Mark Sheilds, "The Democratic Party is in terrible danger of winning this election. The failures and scandals of the last Republican administration exposed a weak, bitter, and divided Republican Party thus creating a treacherous environment for Democrats where virtually anyone they nominate would be a shoe in to win the White House." Confronted with such a hopeless scenario, Democratic voters responded with confusion and the early primaries had been relatively close. However, Sheilds pointed out that in the end, there was only one candidate in the entire field who could deliver the two things that matter most to democratic voters: meaningless token gestures rather actual political change, and of course, crushing electoral defeat

A Brilliant Idea Which Will Fix Everything

One of my favorite things about American politics is the Punditocracy's resignation to ridiculousness. Fundamentally unjust and undemocratic aspects of our political system are treated like a wacky uncle at Thanksgiving dinner. "Isn't the electoral college just zany in way that removes power from the public at large and places it the hands of "swing states" and unaccountable electors intentionally unbound to those who voted for them? Ha, and now it's spilled it's wine again. What a nut!"

On caucus eve, I can almost hear Chris Mathews giggle as yet again world energy policy will be held hostage to the economic desires of a handful of Iowa farmers who are irrationally given a massively disproportionate influence on the national politics of the most powerful nation on earth. Oh, the wackiness

I have a idea: let's not do that.

Now is the time for change as other states have finally taken a look a Iowa and said "Hey I'd like a massive disproportionate influence on national politics too!" and have threatened to move their primaries as early in the election cycle as Inauguration Day.

Luckily, I have a solution.

I present to you: The Primary Draft Lottery

It's a little bit of the NBA draft, a little bit American Idol, and a little bit of genuine democracy.

On January 3rd of each election year both Parties hold a lottery to see which 3 states will go first in the the primary. But the draft is weighted; the higher your state's voter turn out rate, the better their chances of winning.

The three lottery primaries begin the first week February with a week between each. After that, you have four regional primaries with the order of each again determined by the voter turnout rate of each region.

So, what would the Lottery accomplish?

1. The early primaries return to their function as a screening/getting to know you process rather than the current "We hold more power than God" status. Candidates will not be able to saturate the early States or put all their eggs in one basket. Sure each State will have it's particular issues but they will no longer have utter blackmail ability Iowa currently enjoys with ethanol. National elections will be truly about national issues. Remarkable!

2. It cuts the length and cost of campaigns. No longer will the media be able to cram as much useless crap down our throats two years before and election because the just won't have a much to work with. The crucial details are unknown. And since the campaign season necessarily starts later and finishes quicker, primary campaigns become cheaper and Mitt Romney won't be able to waste 1.3 billion dollars to lose Iowa, thus saving his great-grandchildren from a jetski-less existence.

3. Create a little excitement and motivation for every state. Who wouldn't tune in to see which state goes first? Which state party wouldn't amp up their voter drives in hopes of increasing their odds? It sprinkles in a little bit sports and pop culture and almost makes politics - fun! Parish the thought.

So, as you watch the returns role in tonight, keep in mind no matter who wins, it's high time to admit our crazy uncle primary system has moved beyond quirky and endearing, and crossed over into dangerous irresponsibility. We need to do the mature, difficult thing and and take away the keys before somebody drives America into a tree.

GOP Questions Legitimacy of Kitten “Cuteness”

After successfully defending the nation from the threat posed by sick children, Republican operatives today attacked the Democratic Party for what it called a “Pre-911” mindset toward the adorability of kittens. Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell cited what he referred to as shocking and appalling naiveté exhibited by the Democratic Leadership towards kittens endearing tendencies to chase string and pounce on brightly colored objects.

“Can’t they see the murderous intent in the eyes of Mr. Whiskers? I find it amazing that the Democratic Party is more concerned with protecting animal loving extremists than they are with safe guarding the Homeland against these blood thirsty felines. Did Siegfried and Roy teach us nothing as a nation?” Right-wing bloggers picked up the theme posting pictures of alleged kitten atrocities including several dead mice, and a lizard missing its tail, as well as posting the home addresses of several of the cutest and deadliest kittens. Staffers in McConnel’s office also stated that the "Anti-Kitten" proposal was only one part of the GOP's efforts to win back the hearts and minds of voters and suggested that he may offer a resolution in the fall condemning the Dickens character "Tiny Tim" for his appearance in a MoveOn.org ad.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men: Part II

A few weeks ago I went to the see the the Italian film "La Strada" by Frederico Fellini. The plot revolves around the sweetly naive, clownishly angelic Gelsomina whose family marries her off to the brutish Zampano: a cirus strong man traveling with his ramshackle one-man show from village to village. Eventually one of Zampano's drunken rampages lands him in jail and Gelsomina, free for the first time in her life seeks the advice of Zampano's impish rival known only as "The Fool" to help her choose between staying with Zampano, or fleeing with another traveling circus. Though "The Fool" never clearly offers her a path, he assures her that everything has a purpose. Even the smallest pebble resting beneath his shoe. Even Gelsomina. It is the one uplifting moment in an otherwise bleak film.

I hated it.

Nothing against the film itself. It just that I always hate it when people say, "there is a reason for everything." I realize that its supposed to be comforting and sweet, and I try not to hold it against people when they say it to me. I know their hearts are in the right place. But what they don't realize is that this kind talk is really no different from the conspiracy theorist's dark fantasies. Far from being some sort of profound wisdom, stating "everything has a purpose" is nothing more than the sentimentally optimistic side of the coin to the conspiracy theorist's paranoid need to impose a sinister order on a frighteningly uncertain universe.

People forget what "everything" includes. Everything means everything, including some of the most unpleasant and evil things you can possibly imagine. So when people say there are "reasons for everything" they are saying, there's a purpose behind child abuse, a meaning behind murder, a function behind genocide.

Of course they don't really mean that, but it's only intellectual laziness that keeps them confronting that very unpleasant consequence of what they say. And all too often they mean something very close to exactly that. I remember reading an article on Iraq, where a soldier was interviewed about an explosion that killed his comrade standing only feet away, but left him untouched. He replied that the experience had reinforced his belief in God's plan, stating that divine intervention is the only possible explanation for his survival. On one level he was simply asserting an unshakable faith that God had special plan for him, but on some level he had to understand he was equally asserting that God's plan was perfectly OK with his buddy being blown to a million pieces.

Like the conspiracy theorist's secret world controlling cabal, the soldier is using "divine intervention" to keep at bay what he fears most: That there is no order to the universe, that there is no good reason whatsoever why he survived instead of his buddy. To confront that fact would be to acknowledge that it could have been him; that his death could be just as random, instant, and unavoidable as his fellow soldier's was.

The arbitrary nature of mortality is a hard fact to confront and it's application isn't limited to soldiers on the front line. It can be utterly paralyzing if you look it straight in the eye and I can understand why people perform so many mental gymnastics to avoid dealing with it. What perplexes me is that those gymnastics can lead to much more dangerous and difficult places than the admittedly hard challenge of simply confronting the chaos of life head on. Like most things in life, the consequences of avoiding difficulties are usually worse than the difficulties themselves.

The question remains though: how do you accept the uncertainty that rules our existence and still retain the courage to move forward? I will attempt to tackle that question in Part III of this discussion, but for now - I'll leave you with a piece of wisdom from two of my favorite philosophers.

File under: I Wonder What Canada Is Like This Time of Year?

In any sane country this would be front page news and the President would be forced to resign in disgrace. However in the good ol' U.S. of A., yet another confirmation that our President took us to war based on the discredited ramblings of a pathologically dishonest drunken ex-cabdriver while ignoring CIA vetted information from the highest sources within the Iraq government has to make way for a detailed examination of exactly how wide Senator Criag's bathroom stance could reasonably be.

God Bless America.

"No Proof of Wrong"

Ding Dong - Gonzo's Gone! Project M is still celebrating yesterday's resignation of Attorney General Alberto "Fredo" Gonzales. Finally, the most corrupt and incompetent Attorney General this country has ever seen threw in the towel on his portion of the Bush Administration's chicken fight with Congress. I must admit, I didn't think it was gonna happen. Even Slate magazine took down their Gonzo watch earlier this summer based on the discouraging signs that Gonzo would never surrender. Tellingly, the Decider did not comment on the resignation with Fredo at his side, but did spit out this classic “This is a man who has testified, he’s sent thousands of papers up there. There’s no proof of wrong.”
Taking aside the traditional Bush grammatical massacre, it's as if Bush is daring Congress,taunting them to "catch" him and his band of criminals. It's "Na, Na Na, - You got Nothing on me!" It represents the administration's attitude perfectly - that they can skate above the law (or entirely decimate it) trample the Constitution and generally engage in whatever version of morality they want because their opponents technically "got nothing" on them.
And this talking point has worked in the past. The Right Wing noise machine was already in over-drive on the media coverage yesterday, moaning about "What crime did Gonzales actually commit here?" But this technique (already overplayed from the Valerie Plame scandal) faces some very "pesky" facts with everyone from Monica Goodling, to FBI Director Robert Muller contradicting Fredo, and irrefutably revealing his status as a serial perjurer. That Bush finally did throw his beloved Fredo overboard, signifies that despite his very public bravado, Congress is closing in.

Although elated, I'm also a little wary of the timing on this one - it's not looking as pretty the morning after. After all, Turd Blossom and Fredo resigning within mere weeks of each other - what diabolical recess appointment could possibly be in the works? I'm sure Democrats will find a spectacular way to squander their momentum here (probably by immediately confirming some other retarded Bush water carrier like Chertoff as his replacement).

Nevertheless, Project M must rejoice in whatever semi-victory lap the cosmos throws our way however brief. It has put a smug smile on my face the past two days and an extra spring in my step (although when I tried to explain why - I get the usual "Alberto who?" from my co-workers). Sigh. God Bless America indeed.

Gonzolas Resigns to Spend More Time Not Recalling His Family

Alberto Gonzales announced that he is stepping down today to spend more not remembering crucial information about his family. In a written statement the Attorney General claimed that he was proud of his misservice to the American people, and would look back fondly on the good work that he had profoundly undone during his tenor. "Though I am unable to confirm at this time whether or not the damage I have inflicted on the constitution and rule of law is permanent, I leave knowing that I have done all I can. Now I must resign from public life, so I can devote my time to throughly undermining the relationships I hold most dear: my wife, and presumably my children, if I have any, though I can not specially recall any of their names, ages, or locations, I can assure you that if they do exist, that they were raised in an appropriate fashion." Administration officials confirmed that his bubbling maladministration would be greatly missed, and his utter lack of leadership would be hard to replace. Still, they say that Mr. Gonzales is ready to begin the quite life of forgetting birthdays, anniversaries, and middle names, and hopes to one day have the opportunity to commit perjuy in a private civil matter

Desperately Seeking a New "Turd Blossom"

When Project M first heard the news this morning that Karl Rove had resigned "to spend more time with his family" we were shocked. "Karl Rove has a family? Do they know that?"

We'll let others compile lists of Karl's infamy. For us, there is a more pressing concern that needs to be addressed. Rove's resignation leaves a gaping hole in our national body politic that must filled immediately:

Who will the Democrats be irrationally terrified of now?

They must be devastated. The Democrats desperately needed Rove's alleged omnipotent "genius" to justify their instinct to wimp out at the first sign of ANY confrontation no matter how much the public/facts/law/human decency was on their side. Rove has been such an effective boogie man for so long, and the Democrats are such perfectly knee-jerk sissy pants, they were seemly made for each other. Rove was Lucy to their Charlie Brown, Jack Nicholson to their Shelly Duvall, Old Man Withers to their Scooby Doo.

Oh, what will the Dems do now? What will be their excuse the next time they down flush their principles down the toilet? That they had to - or else John Boehner will.. start crying again?

We feel it is truly the destiny of this Blog to help the Democrats in this hour of need. For the rest of the week, Project M will be taking suggestions for the new Democrat-pantswetter-in-chief and we'll announce the winner next week. I'll get this party started with our own top five suggestions

The Democratic Party will now shred the constitution at Cheney's whim because they are deathly afraid of....

1. Lactose

2. Mitt Romneny's Magic Underwear

3. The Number 13

4. Dennis Hastert's sweat stains

5. The the dreaded "Double Guantanamo"

“The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men Often Go Astray”

I went out drinking with some friends last week and spent much of the time listening to a friend of friend spin an elaborate web of conspiracy theories. Several beers had been consumed by that point, and I couldn’t keep track of it all. The best I can hope for is to remember how the world lined up on the ol’ Good and Evil flow chart.

Evil

The Federal Government

Ms. Magazine

Democracy

The CIA

Child Protective Services

Military Industrial Complex

China

Women’s Suffrage

Marriage Licenses

Birth Certificates

Vaccinations

Taxes

Christianity

Al Gore

The 9/11 “cover up”

Good

The Founding Fathers

Gold

The Free Market

I forget what his moral was. Perhaps he was simply angry that the Feds were attempting to regulate the sale of his miniature gold statues of Alexander Hamilton. None of this was new to me though. Growing up in Utah, I’m no stranger to conspiracy theories. La Verkin, Utah once tried to pass a city ordinance outlawing the U.N., completely thwarting that bastard Kofi Anan’s plan to institute one world government by taking over La Verkin’s precious sheep resources. I’ve had my fill of trying to reason with these people, and normally I don’t waste much mental energy attempting to refute these things, but the 9/11 ones really bother me. As a joke, my brother sent me this film “Zeitgeist” where it explains how 9/11 was really a plot by the military industrial complex to get whatever it wanted from the U.S. Government. Think about that for one second. 9/11 was after Bush/Cheney were already elected. Let's examine why that is significant in the form of a one act play

Act 1

Scene 1

January 2, 2001. The shadowy head of the Military industrial complex enters the oval office.

Shadowy Head of the Military Industrial Complex: "Hey, can we have everything we’ve ever wanted?"

President Cheney: "Sure."

Finis

What bothers me about this stuff isn’t how flawed their arguments are, it’s that so much time and energy goes into exposing the non-existence crime of the "9/11 cover up" when we had an actual documented conspiracy to start a war in Iraq, and no one has been held accountable for it. To justify it’s chosen invasion of Iraq, the government, lied to us, spied on us, manufactured evidence, broke the law, and tortured American citizens. All of this has been openly admitted, or is supported by mountains of evidence. Where’s the conspiracy love? Why can’t Iraq get some crazy theory action?

I have a hypothesis as to why this is. Iraq proves just how unbelievably difficult an actual conspiracy is. Here you did have supremely powerful forces. They had a specific plan to remake the entire Middle East. They were willing and able to break any and all laws to achieve their plan. They were willing to lie to the media, the military, and the American people to justify and drum up support for their plan.

And what happened? It blew up in their face.

Reality interceded. The most powerful nation on earth was brought to its knees by 14 year olds with I.E.D.s

What the Iraq debacle proves is how chaotic and uncontrollable the world truly is. But that is exactly what conspiracy theorists don’t want to hear. That’s odd thing about them: they want the world to be controlled by dark and sinister forces. They want to be assured that everything is always planned, even if the plan is a diabolical one. That belief does two things: it both explains and excuses their own powerlessness, and it prevents them from having to confront what they really fear. Not that an evil cabal is running the world, but that maybe no one is.

That’s the truth that’s really terrifying.

"See Dick Run"

He's neither here nor there. Depending on his mood, he is both in and not in his undisclosed location. He has no formal power, yet he's been running our government for six years. Our primitive journalistic techniques will never be able to precisely locate where the fuck he is in our system of government. He is the unstable particle of a radioactively decaying Presidency.

He is: Dick Cheney: Quantum Douche Bag.

Yes, Dick Cheney claims he exists in some metaphysical constitutional limbo. He claims to be neither within the legislative nor executive branch - but a governmental entity unto himself. He is a shadow, a vapor, a fog enveloping the Constitution in darkness, unknowable, untraceable, and unaccountable.

Essentially, he has anointed himself, the fourth branch of government. This theory has been laughed off as ridiculously absurd by most of the mainstream media (What is he, part of the legislexecutive branch? Does he think that we are all five years old?) Unfortunately, this turn of events is not quite as funny as it should be. It serves to highlight the tragicomedy we are all living through in America where Cheney's other equally laughable claims—that the President is above the law, that secrecy equals democracy, that patriotism requires only silent obedience—have been treated far too seriously by the U.S. press.

The fact that we even debated (much less implemented) the deranged theories of this cruel, paranoid, dishonest sociopath will stain our nation for a long time to come. But like a rabid dog stuck in a corner, Dick is scared. Whatever fucking position this Evil Emperor claims he occupies in the U.S. government is going to end very soon, and with it whatever claims of immunity he has - no matter how ridiculous.

You see, Dick has been a bad, bad boy. He is the heart of darkness within this administration, and he knows the time of reckoning for his sins is near. How to get out of that trap? Simple - see Dick shred evidence. Cheney's actions aren't crazy. They're all too sane, and all too familiar. He will lie, cheat, and stonewall, like he's always done, and count on everyone to back off, as they always have.

We must not let that happen. All of his dark secrets must come to light. It will be unpleasant, shining a flashlight on a roach motel always is - but if this country our ever going to recover from Cheneyism, we must know exactly how we turned to the dark side. Darth Cheney's story must be told, even if it means siting through the Democrats doing their best impersonation of Jar Jar Binks.

No Confidence in Current Events

Okay, I knew that this week was going to suck after suffering through "The Sopranos" series finale on HBO Sunday night.
Not only was that episode totally bogus but I've had the very unpleasant side effect of that stupid Journey song being stuck in my head ALL WEEK LONG! David Chase is not a genius, just another sadistic asshole like our President, accountable to no one.
Then, on Monday the much anticipated Gonzales "No confidence" vote goes down in flames, and Gonzo lives to fuck up another day. Tuesday revealed that Hilary is polling ahead among single women and young women - the two demographics LEAST likely to actually vote in any election.
On Wednesday, the Middle East was back in flames with the destruction of a revere red Shiite mosque in Baghdad. I ran a 5k, suffered through corporate consultants subjecting our entire office to "productivity personality tests," got a parking ticket, picked a fight with an evangelical Mother over school vouchers, and forgot to pay my water bill. By Thursday morning things were looking a little brighter with Scooter Libby actually going to jail (at least until the pardon) Paris Hilton is still in jail, and Bush's approval ratings sticking at an all-time low. Can't wait for tomorrow's document dump! We could end the week on a high note after all.

Celebrities are Criminals too!

Not since O.J.'s fateful ride in the White Bronco has our pathetic "mainstream" media been collectively drooling at the prospect of non-stop coverage of a celebrity perp walk. Even CNN International has apparently decided to drop the facade that they still cover serious News, and resume live coverage of the order of Paris Hilton back to jail; or rather Judge Michael T. Sauer's attempt to order Paris back to jail, since we all know by now that rich blondes can't really be expected to actually sit in jail for breaking LAWS that apply only to mere mortals.

And Marx is calling for offsides!

This doesn't have anything to do with anything and there's probably only about twenty other people in the world with the right combination of nerdiness to think this is funny, but what the hell.

Democrats snatch defeat from the jaws of victory

They blinked. I guess we shouldn't be surprised. Blinking is what they do best. The Democratic congress just ended their Mexican stand off with President Bush over the war funding bill. They backed down even though Bush was holding a toy water pistol and they were holding a .357 Magnum. Unbelievable. It takes a special kind of jelly fish to not to take a stand that is morally correct, strategically critical, and politically popular. It s a catastrophic failure of the very first order.

Congratulations Harry Reid! After months of acting tough, you've revealed your self as the eunuch you are. We needed Churchill and you gave us Tom Daschle II: The Quickening. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Apparently Democrats can't even remember five years ago. Remember Dasch's brilliant strategy of caving in to the President on the war and then hitting on him hard on domestic issues? Remember how that turned out? Apparently Reid and Pelosi don't.

Trading little victories for a big loss results in guess what? A big loss. That's all that anyone will take away from this sorry episode. You can't ignore the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room and expect everyone to be happy that you got a new puppy, no matter how cute it is. As always, Kieith Olberman says it all better than we ever could.


Bush is a bully. He always has been. He always will be. The only way to deal with a bully is to hit him back. Hard. Not pretend to hit him. Not talk about hitting him. Jesus Christ Harry, the whole school is in your corner cheering you on and the principal just gave you a pair of brass knuckles. HIT THE FUCKER!

Well if they won't hit somebody I will. I will hit them. Call your Rep. Call Harry. Call Nancy. This was the existential moment for this congress. They failed. Make sure they know that.

Plan "Mitt" from Outer Space

Mitt Romney has pulled ahead of John McCain in the ever tightening race for “who can make the most bizarre boneheaded statements in a single primary campaign.”

Mitt’s been trying his best but, clearly had a steep hill to climb after McCain decided to turn nuclear war in the mid-east into his own private Broadway musical.

Romney’s no quitter though. He may have just fired the most impressive salvo yet in the Republican war of “anything you can do I can do dumber.” When a reporter recently asked what was his favorite novel of all time, the wannabee Republican nominee answered "Battlefield Earth" by L. Ron Hubbard.

Yep, you heard right the Mormon candidate's favorite work of fiction is - the Scientologist's Bible. Just when you are trying to convince middle America that you are NOT a member of a wacky religious cult you admit that you love
literature written by - the controversial founder of America's wackiest religious cult. And as a bonus, you have now forever associated yourself with Tom Cruise and John Travolta in gold dread locks. Nice! Nothing says “Presidential” like dreadlocks and nose rings.

I guess when your name is synonymous with a baseball glove your lack of dazzling intellect is bound to catch up with you. However, Romney has inspired us here at Project M. Who is wackier? Scientology? Mormonism? It’s a battle we feel obligated to resolve.

America deserves nothing less.

Tune in next week for the stunning conclusion.

Mormons: Raw and Uncensored

The two part Frontline episode actually began last night but I was busy watching the Jazz lose to the Rockets . I'll be watching both halves later this week, but I'm a little sceptical. Frontline normally does great work, but I have a feeling this is going to be a bit of a puff piece. We'll see if they have the guts to mention cool stuff like secret handshakes and magic underwear, as well as not so cool stuff like Mark Hoffman and the Mountain Meadows Massacre.

George Tenet Exposes Himself

George Tenet’s half-assed mea culpa comes a day late and a dollar short. I really hope nobody rewards this spaghetti-spined enabler by buying his book of completely yawn worthy revelations. Bush was hell bent on war with Iraq? No! You don’t say! Bush fixed the intelligence to justify the invasion? Stunning. Only the majority of American’s have figured that out by now. And really, thanks for sharing all this now instead of when you were running the CIA in the build up to war and could’ve actually done something about it. Sorry George, history will be kicking your pathetic ass to the same gutter of disgrace as the rest of the neo-cons. Confessing to 60 Minutes ain’t gonna change that.

However, Tenet’s book is extremely revealing in a completely unintended way. Not about the war, but about the media. What makes his “expose” utterly redundant is a far more important Whitehouse official has admitted repeatedly that the President lied in the build up to the war. That man? Why none other than George W. himself.

Bush has stated repeatedly that “knowing everything he knows now” he would still have invaded Iraq. He’s said it many times to many different journalists. Yet not one ever asks the obvious and critical follow up question: “Doesn’t that mean you lied to the American people prior to the war?” Bush consistently asserted before the invasion that war was not inevitable. He promised if Saddam would just disarm then he wouldn’t need to live out his oedipal complex by one-upping daddy. Of course “what we know now” is when Bush was pointing to the escape hatch of disarmament, Saddam was completely, utterly armless.

What Bush says now is that there never was an escape hatch. I’m no “logictian” but it seems that Bush was either lying then or he’s lying now. Hmmm…the President publicly admitting to lying; that sounds vaguely important. Possibly even a “story” that would interest a “journalist” since the “war” has turned into a “clusterfuck of horror” and the “stupidest decision in human history.” But the media, like W, are in their own little bubble where 9/11 apparently gave our fearless leader a coupon book of full of free passes for corruption, incompetence, and law breaking. Jack Murtha mentioned impeachment on Face the Nation and Bob Schieffer couldn’t have been more horrified had Murtha started masturbating live on camera. “What? Impeach the President? Just because he’s a dangerously incompetent moron who’s committed at least eight impeachable offensives? Are you crazy? He hasn’t even used his two-for-one assassination voucher yet!”

Satan Also Against a Flat Tax.

Sometimes I wonder if I have it in me to update this site with enough humor and wit to keep y'all coming back. It is a real challenge with a full time job and Ginny out of town for two weeks. Thank God for my homeboys in Utah; they always come through in the clutch. I could spend a month on a post and not come up with something this funny.

Thanks guys, I couldn't do this without you.