Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Plan "Mitt" from Outer Space

Mitt Romney has pulled ahead of John McCain in the ever tightening race for “who can make the most bizarre boneheaded statements in a single primary campaign.”

Mitt’s been trying his best but, clearly had a steep hill to climb after McCain decided to turn nuclear war in the mid-east into his own private Broadway musical.

Romney’s no quitter though. He may have just fired the most impressive salvo yet in the Republican war of “anything you can do I can do dumber.” When a reporter recently asked what was his favorite novel of all time, the wannabee Republican nominee answered "Battlefield Earth" by L. Ron Hubbard.

Yep, you heard right the Mormon candidate's favorite work of fiction is - the Scientologist's Bible. Just when you are trying to convince middle America that you are NOT a member of a wacky religious cult you admit that you love
literature written by - the controversial founder of America's wackiest religious cult. And as a bonus, you have now forever associated yourself with Tom Cruise and John Travolta in gold dread locks. Nice! Nothing says “Presidential” like dreadlocks and nose rings.

I guess when your name is synonymous with a baseball glove your lack of dazzling intellect is bound to catch up with you. However, Romney has inspired us here at Project M. Who is wackier? Scientology? Mormonism? It’s a battle we feel obligated to resolve.

America deserves nothing less.

Tune in next week for the stunning conclusion.