Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Mitt Romney Vows to Eat Bug
As last ditch effort in an ever tightening Florida Primary, Mitt vowed to eat a bug if you will vote for him. Romney highlighted his years in the business community doing whatever is necessary to please the customer and promised to apply that same experience his campaign, up to and including eating a live insect. "Voters in this state want change, I am the man to give it them. And should the voters want me to eat this beetle, then I will do so with a smile on my face. Really. I totally will." Romney went on to criticize his rivals John McCain and Mike Huckabee for their unwillingness to commit to eating anything the people want them to, saying that it exposed their lack of commitment to this great nation and whatever juvenile stunts happen to amuse it. "For too long Washington has ignored the will of the American people. And I have noticed that will sometimes includes the desire to watch people eat bugs on television. I make a solemn vow, that if America will elect me there president, I will eat any bug that it asks of me. Yes, even that creepy looking green one over there." Political strategists were unsure if the bold move would be enough to deliver Florida into the Romney camp, though he was said to be close to receiving the endorsement of Johnny Knoxville. Romney refused to comment on what his post Florida strategy might be, but campaign revealed that are considering a Super Tuesday blockbuster that may involve their candidate licking a toilet seat.