Sunday, April 22, 2007

Dinesh D’Souza: Ontological Douche Bag.

Never one to pass up the chance to exploit a national tragedy for his own twisted agenda, Dinesh D’Souza’s latest diatribe lambastes atheists for being unable to find meaning in the Virginia Tech shootings. He says atheists simply can’t explain that level of ghastly horror. Well, I’m going to take him up on his challenge by examining a source of awfulness a little closer to home: The douche bag that is Dinesh D’Souza.

Impossible you say, there is no way to find meaning in D’Souza’s contemptible shtick. Damn it, this is an important experiment, just hear me out.

You see, I have a theory that Dinesh’s mind bogglingly repulsive behavior is actually part of a heroic plan to sacrifice his own human decency to prove the existence of God through his version of the ontological argument.

As far as I can tell the argument goes something like this:

Premise 1. I can imagine the most perfectly reprehensible vindictive douche bag there is.

Premise 2. Dinesh D’Souza actually is the most perfectly reprehensible vindictive douche bag that it is possible to imagine.

Premise 3. Only a perfect creator could create such a perfect douche bag.

Premise 4. Dinesh D’Souza exists.

Conclusion: God must therefore exist because of the utter perfection of Dinesh D’Souza’s douche baggery.

Sadly, the ontological argument actually doesn’t prove anything other than the contents of one’s own mind, so the only thing D’Souza ends up proving is that, in his mind, God is as big a douche bag as he is.


The Fire Next Time said...

douche baggery is an excellent adjective. Wait, is that an adjective? No, I guess not. Well, whatever it it, it's great.

But is D'Souza really the worst? I mean, he's bad, and pretty much totally worthless, but the worst? You should have a contest. Or poll, more accurately, about who the most reprehensible douche bag in the world is. That would be fun.

GoDrex said...

Good job - this post was very helpful to me.

Oh and I called him a douche first I think.

anti-nonsense said...

I disagree with the premise that Dinesh D’Souza is the most prefectly reprehensible vindictive douche bag that it is possible to imagine.
He's only the second most reprehensibile vindictive douche bag that it is possible to imagine.

Fred Phelps is the most perfectly reprehensibile vindicitive douche bag that it is possible to imagine.

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