Monday, August 13, 2007

Desperately Seeking a New "Turd Blossom"

When Project M first heard the news this morning that Karl Rove had resigned "to spend more time with his family" we were shocked. "Karl Rove has a family? Do they know that?"
We'll let others compile lists of Karl's infamy. For us, there is a more pressing concern that needs to be addressed. Rove's resignation leaves a gaping hole in our national body politic that must filled immediately:

Who will the Democrats be irrationally terrified of now?

They must be devastated. The Democrats desperately needed Rove's alleged omnipotent "genius" to justify their instinct to wimp out at the first sign of ANY confrontation no matter how much the public/facts/law/human decency was on their side. Rove has been such an effective boogie man for so long, and the Democrats are such perfectly knee-jerk sissy pants, they were seemly made for each other. Rove was Lucy to their Charlie Brown, Jack Nicholson to their Shelly Duvall, Old Man Withers to their Scooby Doo.

Oh, what will the Dems do now? What will be their excuse the next time they down flush their principles down the toilet? That they had to - or else John Boehner will.. start crying again?

We feel it is truly the destiny of this Blog to help the Democrats in this hour of need. For the rest of the week, Project M will be taking suggestions for the new Democrat-pantswetter-in-chief and we'll announce the winner next week. I'll get this party started with our own top five suggestions

The Democratic Party will now shred the constitution at Cheney's whim because they are deathly afraid of....

1. Lactose

2. Mitt Romneny's Magic Underwear

3. The Number 13

4. Dennis Hastert's sweat stains

5. The the dreaded "Double Guantanamo"

No comments: